Almost 3 years ago I met the man of my dreams. What a smooth-talker. He was wonderful. And we slept together the night we met. I was a single mom finally on my own; he was a single father who rarely saw his kids. But he was nice, and very attentive, and honestly I wasn't looking for much. For me, he was a quick and easy one night stand.
Then, the next day, I came home from work- and there he was. I figured, "Okay, a 2 night stand." But within a week, I was in love, he was in love, and I was pregnant. I of course didn't know it yet, but I was.
Pregnancies do not stay a secret for very long. It came to my attention, and in just under two months of knowing each other and one overnight drive to Vegas, we were the Married expectant parents of Zoë due February 3rd.
Robert was everything to me. I don't know that I ever told him that, but he was. So when a month and half later we both realized what we had gotten ourselves into and we both began trying to NOT be the one to end it, we both felt trapped. Not because we weren't – quite on the contrary- because we were.
We fought. For the first time we fought. It wasn't pretty. We made up. We sat down to eat.
He said, "You don't know how close I was to leaving you today."
I said,"It's been really hard because for the last week or so, I can't tell if I love you."
He said, "Well it's been a month for me. And I am sure that I have never really loved you. I married you because you were pregnant."
I said, "Well I can't ask you to stay in a loveless marriage, why don't you go pack your things."
"They are already in the car," he said
I replied sarcastically, "That's just fine, I will go get an annulment and an abortion and we can just go back to the way things were, RIGHT ROBERT," as he left.
Goodbyes are never easy. This was the most difficult moment of my life to that date. But soon to be replaced by another.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
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